Blue Beetle

My DC movie binge started because I wanted to watch a bunch of (mostly) bad movies when I am stuck awake late at night alone, feeding a newborn. My wife has her own bad tv and movies she watches without me, so this works well. She heard about Blue Beetle from somewhere, and asked to be involved in this particular viewing experience. Big mistake.

I just finished watching Black Adam and Shazam 2, and yet this movie surpassed them both in crappiness. I give at a rating of 2, awful. I am shocked that the IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes ratings are so high, there is just nothing to like about this film.

The superhero part of the film, including the action scenes, is both short and unimpressive. Almost every time Jaime uses his super suit he just asks the AI to help him, and there is no decent explanation given as to why the suit chose him. The plot itself is both incredibly simple – rich people want some item of power, which chooses a kid, so they try and get it back – that it is amazing how overly complicated this story feels. Frequently there are lines from random characters that are suddenly experts – ‘These must be to turn them into super soldiers!’ and “There is enough for an army in here!” to explain additional plot that is just completely irrelevant. The scarab makes people powerful would be more than enough justification for the primary story.

Also, as a DC movie, they must make the villain EXTRA EVIL. She says things like ‘shoot at the family and let’s see what happens’! ‘Sacrifices need to be made!’ and so on. I couldn’t stop groaning through most of the lines here.

Worst of all, the characters. I dislike or hate every character in this movie. From the whiny protagonist, to the lame villains, to the love interest with no personality, and most importantly the family that is annoying as all hell. I was also unfamiliar with George Lopez before this film, and I learned that every time he enters a scene I know pain is coming. He is loud, unfunny, and in this movie I think he might have more screen time than anyone else.

It’s awful. I am almost surprised to remember that there are worse movies out there.