After fighting through the past two Superman films, I knew what I was in for. Somehow, this is the worst of the bunch, even with Richard Pryor.
In the second scene of the movie, a pretty woman walking down the street leads to five minutes of the worst slapstick comedy I have scene since Superman II’s climactic fight scene. A blind man walks through a painting, a paint bucket lands on a man’s head, and so many other lame jokes that the scene almost artistic in its stupidity. This is all not nearly as dumb as just about every comment relating to a computer in this film, which is a problem since the entire premise of this film is computer based. Somebody, somewhere, once decided that Superman was the right protagonist of a film where the main criminal is a hacker. More of this will be addressed in the spoilers section, for those of you who haven’t managed to see this gem in the past 30 years and are highly motivated by this rave review to make up for lost time.
Richard Pryor has his moments, but there’s nothing else worth addressing above the fold so the movie gets a 1.
Spoilers
So, in 1983 most of the viewing public did not have a personal computer. In my one Google search of the subject (remember to do your own research!), Google’s AI assistant said 10% of homes owned a PC in 1983. That feels real enough, so I’ll take it. It’s clear that the writers, at least, have never used computers before. The plot is hinted at by Richard Pryor doing some nonsense task that his supervisor views as impossible to prove he’s a computer whiz. When the boss asks how he did it, Pryor’s answer is “I don’t know”, the hallmark of any programming genius.
Once he’s embroiled in the criminal task of redirecting a satellite capable of creating weather patterns, he goes to a farm manufacturer’s small office to be able to access the internet. This tiny building has a computer that has the nuclear-launch protection system of requiring two keys to be turned at the same time, just to be able to turn the machine on. Why? Who knows.
Later on, when Pryor builds his super computer, that can do all of the things of a normal computer but 1000 others as well (like shooting forcefields and kryptonite, obviously the stuff a computer genius wants his machine to do), it has to fight Superman. What does it do after it’s kryptonite beam fails? It attaches random metal to a human being, who is then of course basically a computer. Genius stuff.
Then there’s the subplot of Superman getting near fake kryptonite for a moment, which turns him evil somehow, and leads to thirty minutes of watching Superman be unpleasant. This situation is resolved by Superman fighting Clark Kent, in one of the most fast-forwardable fights of this franchise. It’s all bad.
My Score
IMDB Score
RT Critics
31
RT Audience
23